Death, Taxes, and Old People

I'm fucking sick of hearing old people bitch about Obama and the "Socialist States of America" spreading the fucking wealth. Why, you ask? Aren't old people entitled to their own opinions about shit going on in the country to? They are, but I too have a right for those opinions to piss me the fuck off.

Here's why: no single fucking demographic in American society has had more wealth spread to them for a longer period of time. Since 1935, old people have been bitching about spreading the wealth all the way to the bank... to cash their goddamn Social Security checks. So you're against spreading the wealth? Fine, then I want video proof of you ripping up every motherfucking social security check that comes your way. I'd also like to see all disability checks, Medicare Part A, B, and D benefits, and all dia-bee-tuhs testing supplies paid for by Medicare to be tossed in the trash too. I think then you'll find out that you're only against spreading the wealth when it isn't being spread to you.

Now, I'm not saying I'm against all these old people benefits. I believe it's important for a society to take care of it's elderly. Granted, Medicare Part D was about as piss-poorly designed ("We're going to have 42 different prescription plans for old people to choose from, and guess where all of the information about which plan is best for you is going to be?! In Reader's Digest? Fuck no, old people can use that. On computers!!") as a government program can get, but I'm not against giving the elderly prescription coverage. I just wish they would have gotten someone who's not a dumbfuck to design the program. How can you tell it's a program that was set up by some fat, lazy asshole who didn't know shit about medicine? Because almost everyone's plan involves something called the fucking "donut-hole."

Anyways, only being against spreading the wealth when it doesn't get spread to you is why the Republicans who are against "spreading the wealth" can still get off to of Ronald Reagan every night, because let's face it, tax breaks spread the wealth. Only Reagan's tax breaks spread the wealth upwards, and it seems that in the minds of many Republicans, spreading the wealth around to the rich fucks in society isn't such a fucking crisis. Spreading the wealth is a lot like butter- spreading it to the rich is just like spreading it on toast, where it tastes delicious, but if you spread the wealth to the poor, it's like spreading butter on... well, I can't think of anything butter would taste that bad on, so I guess that's a pretty shitty analogy.

If you get an argument with an old person about spreading the wealth, point out all the wealth that they're getting spread to them. If that doesn't work, ponder the interesting concept of those death panels that Sarah Palin has been talking about. Or simply tell them to fuck off.

I've seen a lot of stupid shit in my day but...

...very few of them could piss me off worse then my 1 hour layover turning into a 4 hour layover and American fucking Airlines not even offering a damn sandwich for delaying us so long. What pissed me off so much was when I got home to St. Louis, and I saw an advertisement for this. It didn't just piss me off, it really got my piss boiling. It has got to be the 2nd stupidest fucking thing I've ever seen (I'll be posting about the stupidest thing I've ever seen in the near future- and in truer tradition to this blog, it is something spewed forth by a Republican). Not because I'm against educating children in needy countries, but because I think there's a shitton of things that the money could be better used for. You can tell how fucked up our society's gotten when we think the most important think we can give to children in a needy country is a fucking laptop. What about fucking food? Or AIDS drugs? Or doctors? Or fucking potable water? Or fucking mosquito nets so that people don't die of fucking malaria? To hell with all of that shit, they need fucking laptops.

The whole concept pisses me off- one laptop per child. Why aren't we more concerned about having at least one meal a day per child or fucking shelter for every child? Well, I guess shelter isn't a concern since that would block out the sun and their fucking laptops couldn't recharge then.

Again, this wouldn't be a terrible idea if these kids had everything they need to fucking survive before we start worrying about giving all of them laptops. Furthermore, it costs $200 fucking dollars to donate a laptop. Here's a list of what you could do if you donated that $200 to another charity instead:
1) Feed a starving child for 20 fucking months
2) Buy 20 mosquito nets to help prevent 20 people from becoming infected with malaria, which by the way can be a fatal disease (and in case you're not 100% sure, not owning a laptop is never, ever fucking fatal).
3) Deliver almost 1,500 fucking pounds of food to starving American children
4) Buy a bunch of shit from this website to show how much more dedicated you are to breast cancer awareness than fucking everyone else around you. I don't know if their money actually goes to breast cancer research so whether that's charity or not is up in the air.
5) Buy 8 fucking ribeye steaks cooked on a pitchfork, and then eat them overlooking the fucking Badlands. I know that not charity, it's just badass.
6) Buy a shitton of Natty Light for this guy.


I really don't get how the fuck this idea came about- I picture it playing out like this:
Jackass 1 was standing around and said "You know, there's a lot of motherfucking problems in this world," and then
Jackass 2 chiming in with "You're fucking right... not the least of which is the fact that there are all these starving kids..."
Jackass 1 interrupts with, "I know we've got to feed those sons of bitches!"
Jackass 2 becomes disgusted and said "No, infrastructure problems would make that practically impossible. We need to get them to have fucking laptops with wireless internet."
Jackass 1: "They're fucking starving kids in a needy country, how the hell would they use wireless internet?"
Jackass 2: "Fuck you."

Thus rendering another convert to the fucking idea that it's really important to get fucking laptops to all these kids. And what is very likely the stupidest fucking charity I've ever heard of marches on to see another day.

Next post: A case study of all the kids that will benefit from this fucking program.

Conservative Strangelove...

...or "Why at this moment in time, a talking dildo would be more fucking useful to this country than anyone that is speaking out for the conservative movement."

We're in the middle of an economic fucking crisis. Two goddamn wars. And a bunch of other bullshit going on. But here is what the conservative pundits are pissed about:


Granted, it's complete monkeyshit that the media made this big of a deal out of the pres. & VP getting a fucking burger. Had he been a vegatarian prior to this point in time, yeah it's fucking noteworthy because it'd be like his meat baptism. But he went out for a fucking burger.

BUT it is way more fucking absurd that the conservative pundits, esp. Hannity & Fucking Laura Ingraham are making such a huge fucking deal out of the WAY he ordered his burger. Sigmund fucking Freud couldn't have made more inferences than they do about the man from the way he orders a fucking burger.

First a look at Laura Fucking Ingraham's insightful fucking comments:


I like how she says how fucking absurd it is that the media's covering it, then proceeds to cover it hersel.

Now I love ketchup. Probably more than anyone I know. But it's not a national fucking crisis that he doesn't get ketchup on his fucking burger. And when the fuck did dijon motherfucking mustard become elitist. Prior to may 6th, Dijon mustard was just a fucking spicy version of mustard. Now that a Democrat president has ordered dijon mustard, it's fucking elitist all of a sudden. I don't think these dumb sons of bitches realized that the Grey Poupon commercials were a fucking joke.

They mocked Obama, acting like him & Biden came in with bottled water. When the fuck did that become elitist. My theory is anything that is fucking sold at fucking WALMART isn't elitist. And on top of that, they didn't even have fucking bottled water with them, so these fucking shitbricks are just pulling shit out of their ass and claiming that Obama did it (for a more dire version of the right doing this, look up the so-called "Obama Enemies List").

If I were her, and had nothing more constructive to do than criticize the way our President eats a fucking hamburger, I would punch myself in the eye until it turned to jelly.

She asks what kind of man wouldn't put ketchup on his burger. If we're going to size up what kind of man the president is, why don't we do it based on a larger, more substantial issue? Say 4 years ago, why wasn't she asking what kind of man the president was to be out in California after New Orleans had been ravaged by a fucking hurricane.

And here's Sean Hannity's comments:


That "fancy burger"... he got it with cheddar & fucking spicy mustard. If Shitbrick Sean would have done any fucking research at all (I know, that's like asking the Pope to go to a fucking Bar Mitzvah), he would have found that Rays Hell Burgers offers many things substantially more "elitist" than fucking Dijon. For example, you can get fucking foie gras and fucking white truffle oil. With all that on the menu, he orders cheddar & dijon and he's still a fucking elitist.

Sean, fuck you. I've had fucking bowel movements that have been more informative than listening to you fucking talk.

The 59th Street Bitch Song

With the bailouts and stimulus package dominating the news cycle lately, I haven't found much inspiration to write about anything, but I feel it's time to put in my two cents. It's well-established that most of America doesn't like the stimulus bills, and who can blame them since these greedy fucks on Wall Street and the Bernie Madoff assholes of the world have spent the past several fucking over the American people like we're a federal prisoner that dropped the soap. I'm not a big fan of the stimulus packages either. But it's what every top economist is recommending to do, even conservative ones.

What's been really pissing me off though is how Republicans are acting like this whole thing is 100% Obama. What they're forgetting is that the first, and substantially shittier, stimulus package was signed by a fucking Republican president and fucking championed by Mr. Jowly Anti-pork himself, Sen. McCain. How could one so easily forget a fucking presidential campaign (Mr. McCain's) being suspended so he could fucking barnstorm into Washington and champion passing this first stimulus package. Then it failed in the House, which was entertaining, and sure as hell didn't help out his prospects in November. Anyfuckingways, from what I recall, a little over half of this stimulus money has been signed into law by Obama. The other half was signed by Bush, and fucking championed by McCain. Where were the motherfucking tea parties then?

Speaking of which, where was the fucking tea at these tea parties? Personally, if I were a GOP protester and I showed up to bitch & drink tea, and found out there was no tea, I'd be uber-pissed because I fucking love tea.

And I'm all for people's right to protest, but it's a little fucked up that in recent memory fucking Hannitty was talking about what a travesty it was that anyone would question the president, and now he's calling for people to take to the fucking streets in anarchy. It's interesting to see how quickly the sides have shifted roles; now the right-wingers are the radical protesters and the left are bitching about them protesting. Not long ago, the left was protesting and being mocked on Fox News. Now the right is protesting, being mocked on MSNBC, and Fox News is acting like it's incredulous that someone would ever fucking mock protesters. Fuck off Fox News, you'd have to have the memory of a comatose hippopotamus to forget what a bitchstorm you put up anytime someone protested anything during the golden years of the neocon movement.

Truly, this is a serious call to Republicans to stop your fucking bitching, grow a pair, and actually come up with something productive. The Democrats have come up with the bailouts as a plan, what is the Republicans plan? I haven't fucking heard one. Since the Republicans are now the minority opposition party, I think it is their duty to this great country to not just bitch about what the Democrats are doing but to fucking come up with an alternative. If the GOP is so truly fundamentally against the bailouts why don't you stop whining and do something that might be politically risky, and come up with an alternative on how to save our fucking country from this recession. Our country would greatly benefit from having differing constructive opinions instead of just having the Democrats come up with a plan and the Republicans pointing out what all is wrong with it. Fucking come up with a fucking idea of your own.

GOP, you don't like the bailouts. I'm not a big fan of them. Neither are the majority of the citizens of this country. So my question to you is what the fuck are you going to do about it?

-Rev. Joe

P.S. And if you respond to that question with more bitching, I will fucking punch you in the face.

Ecstasy

This isn't about politics, but it's been bugging the shit out of me lately.

Something's really been chapping my ass today. Tehcno music. I can't fucking stand techno. Tonight I was at the casino, and I heard a techno version of Bob Marley's "Sun is Shining." This really pissed me off. What really gets my piss boiling about techno is that they always take a fucking song that was a good damn song originally, then they fucking chop it up and at a stupid as fucking beat to it then change the damn tempo of the song then all the fuckers that are hopped up on ecstasy go apeshit over it because they liked this song originally and now they can finally do their fucking glowstick dance to this bullshit.

Ecstasy is going to be the downfall of music, because all these fuckers get all hopped on E and they think that everything would be good as techno music, but's not. Fleetwod fucking Mac does not turn into good fucking techno music.

You know what does make good techno music? Fucking Icelandic or Nordic hookers getting some douche bag-looking guys to play a fucking beat with a high fucking pitched keyboard over it, and then the lead singer repeats one or two lines over and fucking over again for 3 & a half minutes. The song would preferably be in another language, too. If it's in this language it should sound like someone with English as a 42nd language wrote the fucking line... something like "Get off your ass, my new jeans are on the street."

Daft Punk proved, you can have a fairly successful techno song using the same formula and uttering only 1 phrase for 4 fucking minutes.

You say you want a rEVOLution...

Here is why Ron Paul lost:

1) His supporters were so motivated they decided that instead of having a real rally, they'd have one online on the video game World of Warcraft.



2) Dragonforce is a shitty band. Anyone who's supporters like Dragonforce deserves to lose. I mean who the fuck sings about dragons and shit? It's ridiculous, it's not the fucking 80's anymore.

Also, look for the disclaimer at the end of the video- they make sure you know that the Ron Paul campaign didn't organize that rally. A lot of campaigns have get out the vote drives. Apparently, many of Ron Paul's supporters just play a fucking fantasy-world videogame.

Turkey pardoning, Palin-style

What makes this video even funnier, is that she gave the interview right after she pardoned a turkey. And I love the guy in the background staring at the camera the whole time.

I had 2 phases of reaction to this video. First, I laughed my ass off; 3 weeks ago this woman was a viable candidate for the second-highest office in the land. Now she's giving interviews in front of turkeys being slaughtered.

My second reaction was a bit of melancholy, because I miss seeing her do stupid shit all the time. This is the first new Sarah Palin trainwreck news story I've seen since the election, and I really enjoyed watching her fuck up on the trail. Then I watched the video again, listening to what she actually says, and realized that in a weird way, I miss her annoying the bejesus out of me all the time- I guess it brought a certain consistency to my life that is now missing. Before the election, I'd wake up every day knowing that there would almost certainly be something in the news about Sarah Palin that would really chap my ass. Now I wake up hoping anxiously for the next time a video like this one comes around. So, I'd like to thank Sarah Palin, because her attempts at proving she's a bigger hick than everyone else really amuse the shit out of me.

This is fucking priceless

I know that after 3 weeks without a post, this isn't quite up to par to make up for it. But it's damn funny nonetheless:


It's now my new goal in life to say the phrase "fuck you" on daytime television and have it air.

Election Night: The Drinking Game

For every red state that Obama wins, it's one shot. The red states that Obama is competitive in based on the polls (< 10% gap) are Montana, North Dakota, South Dakota, Arizona, Arkansas, Louisiana, Georgia, North Carolina, Virginia, West Virginia, and Indiana.

Arizona is McCain's home state, so if Obama wins there, it's 2 shots. Since Indiana is quite possibly the reddest state, only voting Democrat 4 times since 1900, it's also 2 shots.

Florida's elections tend to be a clusterfuck of bad things happening, if a winner is called in Florida by 9:30 PM Eastern Time, it's one shot. If Florida has been called by 8:30 PM EST, it's 2 shots.

Missouri is the bellwether state, only voting for the loser in a presidential election one time since 1900. An Obama win here results in another shot.

To up the ante, an Obama win in any battleground state results in a shot. Watch out for the results in Nevada, New Mexico, Colorado, Iowa, Minnesota, Michigan, Missouri, Ohio, Florida, Pennsylvania, and New Hampshire.

If you'd like to up the level to "I want to go to the hospital drunk," everytime someone covering the election says "historic" or any form thereof, it's a drink. To up the difficulty level to coma-inducing, anytime the election coverage mentions gender playing an issue in the general election or primary, it's a drink.

Good night, and good luck.

Why Palin might be dumber than Dan Quayle

Sarah Palin has now said that the media criticizing her infringes on her First Amendment righs. She's completely fucking forgetting that saying she's campaigning negatively isn't infringing on her free speech at all, it's actually exercising that reporter's right to free speech, and the dipshit's completely forgetting that there's other parts to the First Amendment besides free speech; namely, freedom of the press.

Her whole quote was, "If [the media] convince enough voters that that is negative campaigning, for me to call Barack Obama out on his associations, then I don't know what the future of our country would be in terms of First Amendment rights and our ability to ask questions without fear of attacks by the mainstream media."

This makes no fucking sense. It should be appalling that someone who's running for one of the highest offices in the country has no idea what the hell the First Amendment even says, and it is appalling, but considering the source it's not really surprising anymore.

Now for the argument of who's dumber Quayle or Palin:

Quayle can't spell potato.
Palin can't tell you any newspaper or magazine that she reads.

Quayle thinks Mars & Earth are on essentially the same orbit.
Palin thinks that being next to Russia gives her foreign policy experience.

Dan Quayle points out that for NASA, space is still a top priority.
Sarah Palin says that the bailout bill is for people concerned about healthcare reform.

Quayle "loves California. I Practically grew up in Phoenix."
Sarah Palin will "Have to find some and bring 'em to ya!"

Quayle thinks the future will be better tomorrow.
Palin killed the Bridge to Nowhere, and told the Congress "Thanks, but no thanks on that Bridge to Nowhere." (even though she ran for governor on a get the bridge built platform and Alaska ended up getting all the money they wanted for the bridge)

Quayle thinks "We don't want to go back to tomorrow, we want to go forward."
Palin is convinced that Russia constantly flies into Alaska's air space, and is convinced that Russia, one of our allies mind you, is going to attack us, and do it via Alaska. That's right, they'll march they're happy asses through the most sparsely fucking populated state, killing about 20 eskimos and 2 Alaskans in 18 days, then go all the way through Canada just to finally make it to the continental US where there's actually people. Of course, it would be a brilliant strategical move. Going through the coldest part of a fucking country worked out great for Napolean, I'm sure Russia will be just as successful!

I'm becoming increasingly convinced that you could find a two-assed monkey, hold it in captivity for a day or two, and it would have a better grasp on the American constitution than her.

The press saying you're attacking is threatening the First Amendment to the Constitution? Fuck off.

Plumbertastic International Relations

Yesterday, Joe the fucking Plumber was campaigning for McCain and he said that getting Obama elected would mean the end of Isreal. First of all, what the fuck is he talking about? Furthermore, when it comes to international relations, I always get my news from an unlicensed plumber because no one knows the intricacies of Middle East peace like someone who unclogs your shitter pipes.

Here's how I like the situation to play out when I call a plumber:

He arrives at the house, with a smile on his face and a toolbox in his hands. I say, "The problem's this way, Bill" (my plumber can't have the same first name as me, so made him Bill the Plumber).

We trapse to the bathroom, and he looks at me and says, "What seems to be the problem."

"Well, Bill the Plumber, here's the problem, my shitter pipes are all clogged up.

"I'll get that fixed for you in no time. While I'm fixing the fucking pipes how about I tell you all about the idiosyncracies of international policy, and the current threats to the unbelievably fragile situation in the Middle East, with a focus on current world events threatening the existence of Isreal? By the way, you shouldn't flush paper towels down, it can really clog up these shitter pipes in no time."

This is getting rifuckingdiculous.

Proving McCain's an Asshole, Episode III: Return of the Bullshit

In the 2nd presidential debate, where McCain oh so respectfully referred to a United States Senator as "that one," he discussed the need to further investigate the possible ACORN voter registration fraud in the battleground states across America. First, notice how he only gives a shit about the battleground states, and not voter registration fraud everywhere. Here's an ad about Obama's ties to ACORN:


That's a fanfuckingtastic thought, John. However, there are only allegations that ACORN did this and you, Senator, are pissing all over the principle of innocent until proven guilty, which is a core principle of the American justice system. You have implied that Senator Obama has ties to this organization, and therefore has partaken in voter registration fraud. Apparently anyone who has had ties to this organization should be investigated. Well, if they're going to investigate people for ties to ACORN, they should start with you, Senator McCain:



And if I were Obama in the debate, I would have responded to the That One comment with something to the effect of, "You know who was against the Iraq war from the beginning? Me. You know still is for it? Dickcheese," and then point to McCain in case there was any confusion. What an asshole.

Election Day Prediction

Obama's going to take Missouri. He had a rally in St. Louis today attended by an estimated 100,000 people, which would make his biggest rally in the States. Pictures of it, including an awesome shot of Obama under the Arch can be found here and a shot of the whole crowd here.

With excitement like this in St. Louis, the St. Louis/Kansas City vote for Obama will outweigh any rural Missouri vote for McCain. Should Missouri go for Obama, this would damn near hand Obama the election. It would also keep Missouri's record as the bellwether state for presidential elections- Missouri has voted for the winner in every election but one since 1900 (they voted for Adlai Stevenson the second time he ran against Eisenhower).

New Toss-up State

Great news- North Dakota is now considered a toss-up state. In the most recent polls, Obama has been up by 2 points there. That makes the 5th red state (others are Indiana, West Virginia, Virginia, and North Carolina) that Obama has a good shot at winning, and in Virginia, he's up b 10 points in the polls. And like many of the others, North Dakota hasn't voted Democrat since LBJ's electoral ass-kicking of Barry Goldwater in 1964. Should Obama win ND, it would be only the 6th time in the last 100 yrs. that a Dem has won the state in the presidential election. They didn't even vote for FDR for his last 2 terms, and those were landslide victories (FDR got 430+ electoral votes in 1940 & '44).

Maybe John McCain should send Sarah Palin there- her pseudo-Fargo accent might go over really well. And while she's there, they could kick her over into Canada because I'm tired of hearing her talk.

Sign of the Times

We have a family friend who was over at the house the other day; I had just pulled up in the driveway when he came out of the house. He didn't say anything to me, and just went to the bed of his truck. This had confused the shit out of me at the time. He then procured a McCain/Palin sign from the bed of his truck. It was funny as hell, but I couldn't let that stay in my front yard. So I edited it to fit my house better. It's worth noting that I have shitty handwriting in the first place, and I was doing this in the dark, so that's why it's only semi-legible.

Why John McCain Chaps My Ass

For anyone that wasn't paying attention to politics at the time, in the 2000 Republican primary, John McCain was running against George Bush. Bush won the Iowa caucus, then McCain, painting himself as the maverick candidate, won the New Hampshire Primary in a huge upset. This is the campaign when McCain got a lot of his popularity, when he started the Straight Talk Express. The thought at the time was if McCain could pull off a win in the South Carolina primary, he would have all the momentum, and likely defeat Bush. Bush's campaign had its own plans to stop McCain, and started robocall pushpolling asking people in SC if they'd vote for McCain if they knew he had an illegitimate black child with a New York prostitute. The child McCain had was a child Cindy had adopted from Bangladesh.

Understandably, after this crushing blow to his presidential aspirations, McCain became someone who protested against dirty, negative campaigning and against lying robocalls. He even spoke out agains the Swiftboat campaign leveled against John Kerry in '04.

This is why many Democrats and Independents had a lot of respect for John McCain. This is part of the reason I use to respect John McCain. And it is when considering all of these events, that the recent actions of his campaign become even more shocking & appalling.

McCain's campaign has started robocalls against Obama. The Swampland article by Joe Klein on the calls can be found here. The Huffington Post's story w/ audio of the call can be found here. The call starts out saying they're calling for John McCain & the RNC before cutting to the chase, saying that you "...need to know that Barack Obama has worked closely with domestic terrorist, Bill Ayers, whose organization bombed the U.S. Capitol, the Pentagon, a judge's home, and killed Americans."

First of all, there is no evidence that Obama ever worked closely with Bill Ayers, and according to everyone from Chicago that knows Obama, the relationship was extremely minimal. They served on a board together.
Furthermore, McCain himself fucking said in the debate LAST NIGHT that he "didn't care about some washed up terrorist," that he just cared about how this reflected on Obama's judgment. If he didn't care about trying to prove that Obama's a terrorist, his robocall wouldn't have detailed all of the actions done by the Weather Underground. Now I know that John McCain is not a reliable source for what John McCain and his campaign does and doesn't give a shit about, but this is absurd.

People have reported receiving these robocalls in a shitton of battleground states & red states that McCain might lose- Colorado, Florida, Missouri, New Mexico, North Carolina, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Virginia, West Virginia, and Wisconsin. The big surprises- Maine, a very blue state, and even bigger surprises- the two uber-red states of Texas & Georgia. Maine I can kind of understand, because they split up their electoral votes- 2 votes to the winner of the state overall, and 1 vote to the winner of each of Maine's 2 congressional district. McCain's hoping he can win 1 congresional district- with how far behind he is, this seems absurd to me.
But Texas and Georgia? Why the hell is he even bothering? Is there any chance he'll lose Texas or Georgia?

His calls in Minnesota are very, very likely illegal- Minnesota law requires that all robocalls be preceded by a human voice (which kind of eliminates the point of robocalls), and McCain's call was not preceded by a human voice. I couldn't find what the punishment for this offense was according to Minnesota law, but I doubt anything will happen to the McCain camp for the illegal robocalls. During the '06 midterm elections, there were enough RNC robocalls to people on the no-call list that the RNC could have been fined several millions. However, unsurprisingly, nothing happened.

I'm really disgusted by this whole turn of events. To me, this completes McCain's transformation, with this he went from Anakin to Vader, from some dude to a werewolf, from Captain America to a fucking douche bag. Considering McCain's past, and that dirty campaign tricks like this are what he has rallied against so much since the 2000 primary, this truly represents a new low for him. I'm fucking disgusted by it, and I have not even a shred of respect left for John McCain anymore. The respect I had for him has dropped faster than Rudy Giuliani's numbers in the GOP primary.

If you are disgusted enough by this to do something about it, you can contact the RNC at 202-863-8500. Maybe you can tell them what assholes they're being. Or tell them to fuck off.

And while you're at it, tell them what a fucking douche bag Tucker Bounds is.

Funniest Attack Ad I've Seen

This is an attack ad from some guy in Kansas running for Senator. It's hilarious. Who ever thought a political ad would so bluntly insinuate that the other candidate has been pissing on the constituency?



You could argue that this ad is tasteless, and it is, but it's also funny as hell.

Chronology

Yesterday, McCain was talking about the surge in Iraq, and how integral he believes it is to our success there. When phrasing the impeccable stakes that he feels are at hand, he said we can't afford to lose America's first war of the 21st century.

There's only one problem, Senator. Iraq is our SECOND war of the 21st century. How the fuck does he not know this? He's suppose to be the alleged military expert of the 2 candidates. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to find a clip of this online- I had originally seen it on CNN.

Personally, if I were Obama, in the next debate I would say "Do you know who STILL forgets about Afghanist?" Then, without looking at him, I'd point in McCain's direction and say "That one."

Then while he was still pondering this, I'd say "That's right, motherfucker!! I just gave you a taste of your own condescending medicine."


... Or maybe I'd just ask him for a butterscotch or a Werther's (since all old people have those) and see if he wanted to go watch Murder, She Wrote.

When the election's over...

...John McCain is going to owe the American people a gargantuan apology for wasting our fucking time with attacks and smear campaigns in the face of one of the worst economic crises in recent history. He has made a fucking mockery of himself, of the character he use to portray, and most of all anyone in this country whoever believed any of his bullshit.

I regret ever having an ounce of respect for this man. He once portrayed himself as a fucking "maverick" above all the dirt that politicians sling. Now he has run one of the dirtiest campaigns most people have ever seen. Fuck, Karl fucking Rove even called him out on what an assholish, bullshit campaign he's running.

What the hell was Sarah Palin doing in California anyways?

It's not like she's going to win the state in the election, but nonetheless se was in California today, and again, she showed what an asshole she is.



Madeline Albright had actually said there's a place in hell for women who don't HELP other women. And she was not too happy about Sarah Palin misusing her words. I really didn't need anymore reason to hate Sarah Palin more than I already do, but dammit, I found it. How despicable and shallow do you have to be to say that women should vote for you based solely on the fact that you are a woman? I love how she says that women should vote for her because she's a woman, but then offers no substantive information on why she will make women's lives better. But then again, that does seem to be what this election's GOP campaign is about- telling you that you should vote for them or you shouldn't vote for the Dems without giving you any reason (besides fear of taxes) to vote for them.

And what the hell does she mean, "Let's see how that'll be turned into whatever it's turned into tomorrow in the newspaper"? You don't have to turn it into anything, it's a fucking stupid comment made by a small and shallow person.