Plumbertastic International Relations

Yesterday, Joe the fucking Plumber was campaigning for McCain and he said that getting Obama elected would mean the end of Isreal. First of all, what the fuck is he talking about? Furthermore, when it comes to international relations, I always get my news from an unlicensed plumber because no one knows the intricacies of Middle East peace like someone who unclogs your shitter pipes.

Here's how I like the situation to play out when I call a plumber:

He arrives at the house, with a smile on his face and a toolbox in his hands. I say, "The problem's this way, Bill" (my plumber can't have the same first name as me, so made him Bill the Plumber).

We trapse to the bathroom, and he looks at me and says, "What seems to be the problem."

"Well, Bill the Plumber, here's the problem, my shitter pipes are all clogged up.

"I'll get that fixed for you in no time. While I'm fixing the fucking pipes how about I tell you all about the idiosyncracies of international policy, and the current threats to the unbelievably fragile situation in the Middle East, with a focus on current world events threatening the existence of Isreal? By the way, you shouldn't flush paper towels down, it can really clog up these shitter pipes in no time."

This is getting rifuckingdiculous.