The 59th Street Bitch Song

With the bailouts and stimulus package dominating the news cycle lately, I haven't found much inspiration to write about anything, but I feel it's time to put in my two cents. It's well-established that most of America doesn't like the stimulus bills, and who can blame them since these greedy fucks on Wall Street and the Bernie Madoff assholes of the world have spent the past several fucking over the American people like we're a federal prisoner that dropped the soap. I'm not a big fan of the stimulus packages either. But it's what every top economist is recommending to do, even conservative ones.

What's been really pissing me off though is how Republicans are acting like this whole thing is 100% Obama. What they're forgetting is that the first, and substantially shittier, stimulus package was signed by a fucking Republican president and fucking championed by Mr. Jowly Anti-pork himself, Sen. McCain. How could one so easily forget a fucking presidential campaign (Mr. McCain's) being suspended so he could fucking barnstorm into Washington and champion passing this first stimulus package. Then it failed in the House, which was entertaining, and sure as hell didn't help out his prospects in November. Anyfuckingways, from what I recall, a little over half of this stimulus money has been signed into law by Obama. The other half was signed by Bush, and fucking championed by McCain. Where were the motherfucking tea parties then?

Speaking of which, where was the fucking tea at these tea parties? Personally, if I were a GOP protester and I showed up to bitch & drink tea, and found out there was no tea, I'd be uber-pissed because I fucking love tea.

And I'm all for people's right to protest, but it's a little fucked up that in recent memory fucking Hannitty was talking about what a travesty it was that anyone would question the president, and now he's calling for people to take to the fucking streets in anarchy. It's interesting to see how quickly the sides have shifted roles; now the right-wingers are the radical protesters and the left are bitching about them protesting. Not long ago, the left was protesting and being mocked on Fox News. Now the right is protesting, being mocked on MSNBC, and Fox News is acting like it's incredulous that someone would ever fucking mock protesters. Fuck off Fox News, you'd have to have the memory of a comatose hippopotamus to forget what a bitchstorm you put up anytime someone protested anything during the golden years of the neocon movement.

Truly, this is a serious call to Republicans to stop your fucking bitching, grow a pair, and actually come up with something productive. The Democrats have come up with the bailouts as a plan, what is the Republicans plan? I haven't fucking heard one. Since the Republicans are now the minority opposition party, I think it is their duty to this great country to not just bitch about what the Democrats are doing but to fucking come up with an alternative. If the GOP is so truly fundamentally against the bailouts why don't you stop whining and do something that might be politically risky, and come up with an alternative on how to save our fucking country from this recession. Our country would greatly benefit from having differing constructive opinions instead of just having the Democrats come up with a plan and the Republicans pointing out what all is wrong with it. Fucking come up with a fucking idea of your own.

GOP, you don't like the bailouts. I'm not a big fan of them. Neither are the majority of the citizens of this country. So my question to you is what the fuck are you going to do about it?

-Rev. Joe

P.S. And if you respond to that question with more bitching, I will fucking punch you in the face.