Conservative Strangelove...

...or "Why at this moment in time, a talking dildo would be more fucking useful to this country than anyone that is speaking out for the conservative movement."

We're in the middle of an economic fucking crisis. Two goddamn wars. And a bunch of other bullshit going on. But here is what the conservative pundits are pissed about:


Granted, it's complete monkeyshit that the media made this big of a deal out of the pres. & VP getting a fucking burger. Had he been a vegatarian prior to this point in time, yeah it's fucking noteworthy because it'd be like his meat baptism. But he went out for a fucking burger.

BUT it is way more fucking absurd that the conservative pundits, esp. Hannity & Fucking Laura Ingraham are making such a huge fucking deal out of the WAY he ordered his burger. Sigmund fucking Freud couldn't have made more inferences than they do about the man from the way he orders a fucking burger.

First a look at Laura Fucking Ingraham's insightful fucking comments:


I like how she says how fucking absurd it is that the media's covering it, then proceeds to cover it hersel.

Now I love ketchup. Probably more than anyone I know. But it's not a national fucking crisis that he doesn't get ketchup on his fucking burger. And when the fuck did dijon motherfucking mustard become elitist. Prior to may 6th, Dijon mustard was just a fucking spicy version of mustard. Now that a Democrat president has ordered dijon mustard, it's fucking elitist all of a sudden. I don't think these dumb sons of bitches realized that the Grey Poupon commercials were a fucking joke.

They mocked Obama, acting like him & Biden came in with bottled water. When the fuck did that become elitist. My theory is anything that is fucking sold at fucking WALMART isn't elitist. And on top of that, they didn't even have fucking bottled water with them, so these fucking shitbricks are just pulling shit out of their ass and claiming that Obama did it (for a more dire version of the right doing this, look up the so-called "Obama Enemies List").

If I were her, and had nothing more constructive to do than criticize the way our President eats a fucking hamburger, I would punch myself in the eye until it turned to jelly.

She asks what kind of man wouldn't put ketchup on his burger. If we're going to size up what kind of man the president is, why don't we do it based on a larger, more substantial issue? Say 4 years ago, why wasn't she asking what kind of man the president was to be out in California after New Orleans had been ravaged by a fucking hurricane.

And here's Sean Hannity's comments:


That "fancy burger"... he got it with cheddar & fucking spicy mustard. If Shitbrick Sean would have done any fucking research at all (I know, that's like asking the Pope to go to a fucking Bar Mitzvah), he would have found that Rays Hell Burgers offers many things substantially more "elitist" than fucking Dijon. For example, you can get fucking foie gras and fucking white truffle oil. With all that on the menu, he orders cheddar & dijon and he's still a fucking elitist.

Sean, fuck you. I've had fucking bowel movements that have been more informative than listening to you fucking talk.