I've seen a lot of stupid shit in my day but...

...very few of them could piss me off worse then my 1 hour layover turning into a 4 hour layover and American fucking Airlines not even offering a damn sandwich for delaying us so long. What pissed me off so much was when I got home to St. Louis, and I saw an advertisement for this. It didn't just piss me off, it really got my piss boiling. It has got to be the 2nd stupidest fucking thing I've ever seen (I'll be posting about the stupidest thing I've ever seen in the near future- and in truer tradition to this blog, it is something spewed forth by a Republican). Not because I'm against educating children in needy countries, but because I think there's a shitton of things that the money could be better used for. You can tell how fucked up our society's gotten when we think the most important think we can give to children in a needy country is a fucking laptop. What about fucking food? Or AIDS drugs? Or doctors? Or fucking potable water? Or fucking mosquito nets so that people don't die of fucking malaria? To hell with all of that shit, they need fucking laptops.

The whole concept pisses me off- one laptop per child. Why aren't we more concerned about having at least one meal a day per child or fucking shelter for every child? Well, I guess shelter isn't a concern since that would block out the sun and their fucking laptops couldn't recharge then.

Again, this wouldn't be a terrible idea if these kids had everything they need to fucking survive before we start worrying about giving all of them laptops. Furthermore, it costs $200 fucking dollars to donate a laptop. Here's a list of what you could do if you donated that $200 to another charity instead:
1) Feed a starving child for 20 fucking months
2) Buy 20 mosquito nets to help prevent 20 people from becoming infected with malaria, which by the way can be a fatal disease (and in case you're not 100% sure, not owning a laptop is never, ever fucking fatal).
3) Deliver almost 1,500 fucking pounds of food to starving American children
4) Buy a bunch of shit from this website to show how much more dedicated you are to breast cancer awareness than fucking everyone else around you. I don't know if their money actually goes to breast cancer research so whether that's charity or not is up in the air.
5) Buy 8 fucking ribeye steaks cooked on a pitchfork, and then eat them overlooking the fucking Badlands. I know that not charity, it's just badass.
6) Buy a shitton of Natty Light for this guy.


I really don't get how the fuck this idea came about- I picture it playing out like this:
Jackass 1 was standing around and said "You know, there's a lot of motherfucking problems in this world," and then
Jackass 2 chiming in with "You're fucking right... not the least of which is the fact that there are all these starving kids..."
Jackass 1 interrupts with, "I know we've got to feed those sons of bitches!"
Jackass 2 becomes disgusted and said "No, infrastructure problems would make that practically impossible. We need to get them to have fucking laptops with wireless internet."
Jackass 1: "They're fucking starving kids in a needy country, how the hell would they use wireless internet?"
Jackass 2: "Fuck you."

Thus rendering another convert to the fucking idea that it's really important to get fucking laptops to all these kids. And what is very likely the stupidest fucking charity I've ever heard of marches on to see another day.

Next post: A case study of all the kids that will benefit from this fucking program.