Death, Taxes, and Old People

I'm fucking sick of hearing old people bitch about Obama and the "Socialist States of America" spreading the fucking wealth. Why, you ask? Aren't old people entitled to their own opinions about shit going on in the country to? They are, but I too have a right for those opinions to piss me the fuck off.

Here's why: no single fucking demographic in American society has had more wealth spread to them for a longer period of time. Since 1935, old people have been bitching about spreading the wealth all the way to the bank... to cash their goddamn Social Security checks. So you're against spreading the wealth? Fine, then I want video proof of you ripping up every motherfucking social security check that comes your way. I'd also like to see all disability checks, Medicare Part A, B, and D benefits, and all dia-bee-tuhs testing supplies paid for by Medicare to be tossed in the trash too. I think then you'll find out that you're only against spreading the wealth when it isn't being spread to you.

Now, I'm not saying I'm against all these old people benefits. I believe it's important for a society to take care of it's elderly. Granted, Medicare Part D was about as piss-poorly designed ("We're going to have 42 different prescription plans for old people to choose from, and guess where all of the information about which plan is best for you is going to be?! In Reader's Digest? Fuck no, old people can use that. On computers!!") as a government program can get, but I'm not against giving the elderly prescription coverage. I just wish they would have gotten someone who's not a dumbfuck to design the program. How can you tell it's a program that was set up by some fat, lazy asshole who didn't know shit about medicine? Because almost everyone's plan involves something called the fucking "donut-hole."

Anyways, only being against spreading the wealth when it doesn't get spread to you is why the Republicans who are against "spreading the wealth" can still get off to of Ronald Reagan every night, because let's face it, tax breaks spread the wealth. Only Reagan's tax breaks spread the wealth upwards, and it seems that in the minds of many Republicans, spreading the wealth around to the rich fucks in society isn't such a fucking crisis. Spreading the wealth is a lot like butter- spreading it to the rich is just like spreading it on toast, where it tastes delicious, but if you spread the wealth to the poor, it's like spreading butter on... well, I can't think of anything butter would taste that bad on, so I guess that's a pretty shitty analogy.

If you get an argument with an old person about spreading the wealth, point out all the wealth that they're getting spread to them. If that doesn't work, ponder the interesting concept of those death panels that Sarah Palin has been talking about. Or simply tell them to fuck off.