Raging Bull(shit)

Now, I'll agree that Nancy Pelosi's speech was rather partisan, and not entirely appropriate (however, they don't argue about its factuality)- it was done in rather poor taste I felt considering the stakes at hand. And I'm not saying the Dems were entirely faultless, but to think that someone voted down an economic bailout bill based solely on how she hurt their feelings with her fucking speech? Regardless of whether you support or are against the proposed bailout, it would be impossible not to admit that to vote this down based solely on feeling her speech was too partisan is absolutely absurd. This was a bill designed to help get a faltering economy back on its feet.
If John Boehner & other GOP members were so against it, I have a proposal for what they should have done- they should have stopped their fucking crying, put on their big kid shorts, gotten off their fucking naptime cot, realized that recess is over, and come up with a fucking alternative! What the hell does it say about the state of our country if this shit is going on? We have elected leaders who are voting down a huge economic bill that many people have spent countless hours on (and McCain made a huge, wreckless campaign gamble on... actually it was more of a stunt)- voting it down because someone hurt your fucking feelings? What the hell. This is rifuckingdiculous.

Also, I didn't know anything about Barney Frank prior to seeing this video, but kudos to him because that was priceless.


Really, where the fuck do you get the guts to say this bill would have passed if it weren't for her speech? Kiss my ass John Boehner. You've now earned a spot on my shitlist. Lucky for you Tucker Bounds is around, and he's higher on the list. But you're working on it.

John Boehner, much like Tucker Bounds, you are the scum of the Earth- you typify much of what is wrong with American society and you do it with such panache for making the biggest asshole out of yourself possible. Fuck you, John Boehner.

Fox News- more full of shit than a traveling salesman, since 1985

There was once a time when the mainstream media actually accomplished something of substance, and not just more stories about whether or not Hillary is reall fully supporting Obama or not. A time when one of the biggest political scandals in our country's history was discovered by two diligent reporters. If you're like me, and too young to remember such a magical era, I've posted a video to show you what I'm referring to (I'm talking about the real people this is based on, not Dustin Hoffman & Rober Redford themelves):


Compare that to now- in modern times, we've got the joy that is Fox News, which so often seems something like a painful, inflamed hemorrhoid in the ass of America.


You know what? He's right. Fox News would NEVER make anything up.

Gotcha journalism my ass

When Katie Couric asked John McCain & Sarah Palin about her response to a voter's question about Pakistan, they said that it was gotcha journalism. This is indicative of one of the big problems with their campaign- if you point out something that they decide later they don't agree with- say, for example, that your foreign policy statement agrees with your opponent more than your running mate- instead of owning up to their mistakes and saying "Hey I fucked up," they blame it on everyone else. In this case, it's the media's fault. Tomorrow it'll be sexism. The day after that it will be anti-Alaskanism. Then it'll be geriophobia (that's a word I made up meaning a fear of old people). I'm sorry it's such a fucking crisis that they have to be held accountable for shit they said. This is just getting absurd. It was a question from a fucking voter in Philafuckingdelphia at a cheesesteak stand, and they're claiming it's "gotcha journalism"? They need to either put on their fucking big kid shorts and stop whining, or go back to fucking daycare- I bet their cot is still open for naptime even.

Palinomics

Sometimes, I feel sorry for Sarah Palin. I mean, she was governor of one of the smallest states population-wise in the country, just up there hunting moose and shooting wolves out of helicopters, and then John McCain throws her onto the national scene where she has now clue what she's talking about. Then I realize I have the mute button on, and once the volume's back, I realize she annoys the shit out of me.

As if anyone needed anymore evidence, this video is further proof that Sarah Palin is completely and totally full of bullshit. She was asked about the bailout, so naturally she talks about jobs and healthcare, and doesn't mention a fucking word about the bailout.

VP debate and the like

Today, when talking about the upcoming VP debate, Sarah Palin said, "...but I've been hearing about his Senate speeches since I was like, in second grade."

First of all, excessive use of the word "like" is totally, like, what I want to see in someone while could like be next in line for the presidency.

And when the candidate you're on the ticket with is running to be the oldest person ever elected to the presidency, why in the sam hell would you make fun of your opponent's age? That doesn't, like, make any sense.

Tucker Bounds is so full of shit...

... that even Fox fucking News is calling him out on it. And calling him out on it a lot. That's serious shit- I mean Fox News is the media tool of the Republican party. It's like a game of Simon Says, but the GOP doesn't even have to speak commandmentss anymore, and Fox News is already doing them. And this guy is such a fucking douche bag that even Fox News is telling him that he's full of shit.



I really can't stand this guy. I want to interview him, to try to understand the complexities of his complex nature better. And by interviewing him to understand his complexities, I really mean that I want to kick the shit out of him for being such an asshole.

I can't even come up with a title for a quote this dumb:

One of the many key moments in Sarah Palin's Katie Couric interview (did you ever notice that the more interviews she does, the more of a dumbass she seems like?):


Here's my only impression of this video:
"I'll try to find you some and I'll bring em to ya."
Yes!! It'll be like a fucking picnic!!

Why I Think McCain's an Asshole, Episode II: The Bullshit Menace

Today, McCain temporarily suspended his campaign so he can go back to Washington to deal with Congress's bailout package, and he's pushing for Friday's debate in Oxford, Mississippi, to be suspended. If I believed him, it would be a good thing to do; if I believed hi and if I really believed his presence in D.C. would help out with the debate on the bailout package.

I think he's full of shit.

First of all, with the bitter, divisive, mudslinging campaign he's run, I don't see how the hell having him on Capitol Hill is going to help bipartisan work on a bailout package.

Furthermore, McCain has always been, as he has called himelf the "de-regulator" and against big government. Now he's wanting to go back to Washington to work on the bailout package. Either he was completely full of shit then, or he's full of shit now- I've got my money on all of the above.

Obama has made a statement, saying that the president will have to multi-task, and I definitely agree with him on this one. I mean, if McCain really wanted to adjust the debate based on the bailout legislation, they could, you know, move the fucking debate to Washington. The damn thing doesn't start until 9:00 PM Eastern Time, and I really doubt Congress will be in session at 9 at night. Hell, I'm suprised McCain is still awake at that fucking hour.

I really think this is a political stunt. He has done nothing but run a campaign based on partisan divisions. Now he's slipping in the polls, losing in a almost every battleground state (and several red states are too close for McCain's comfort), his campaign has lost momentum, and I think people have become tired of his excessively negative campaign, many of its ads being based on nothing even resembling the truth. What do you do when the negative mudslinging strategy has stopped working? You act like you're fucking St. John, the guy who's so honorable he would never launch a partisan attack.

I guess keeping Sarah Palin locked up tighter than a violent criminal in a mental hospital got too boring.

New Battleground Polls

New battleground polls from Quinnipiac University, washingtonpost.com, and The Wall Street Journal show Obama up in all 4 battleground states surveyed. Here's the results (margin of error was 2.6-2.7 points).
COLORADO: Obama 49 – McCain 45
MICHIGAN: Obama 48 - McCain 44
MINNESOTA: Obama 47 - McCain 45
WISCONSIN: Obama 49 - McCain 42

If Obama wins all these states he's ahead in- only Minnesota was within the margin of error- plus all of the ones that CNN predicts him to win, that would put him at 269 electoral votes. Just 1 shy of winning the presidency.


Also an ABC/Washington Post poll conducted on September 18-21 showed Obama up by 3 points; 49-46. This is huge news- Virginia is a really red state. The only time Virginia voted for a Democratic president since the 40's was when they voted to re-elect LBJ in '64, and that year LBJ won the highest percentage of the popular vote any candidate has won since 1820 (that record still stands- even Reagan couldn't beat it).

Mighty Morphin' Republican Ranger

Some would argue that McCain's transformation from an actual maverick who detested negative campaigning into a mudslinging candidate who has come to fall in line with the GOP on virtually every issue is remniscient of this:


However, I would argue that it is more remniscient of this:


Like Mitt Romney before him, McCain now seems like a lifeless, manufactured, reanimated version of past Republicans who have achieved greatness. Only McCain has been a bigger asshole than Romney, which is quite a feat.

Geography = Foreign Relations 101?

Watch this video...

...and try not to have an aneurysm thinking about how dumb it is.

I'll get to how bullshit I think it is that he says she probably knows more about energy than anyone in America in another post (that one'll take a while and I don't have time at the moment).
On to the last half of the video- now even John McfuckinCain is saying that Alaska being close to Russia gives her international experience. What the fuck? Now it was incredibly dumb when anyone says it, but I could understand one of the tools from Fox News saying that, and I never took Cindy for being exceptionally bright, so I could see her believing that. But this guy is running for leader of the free fucking world and he believes that Alaska being close to Russia makes her qualified to be Vice fucking President? What really chaps my ass about the whole deal is that a shitton of people trust him more with foreign policy experience than Obama, and he fucking says stupid shit like this. First of all, the part of Russia Alaska is next to is fucking Siberia- there is jack shit in Siberia. Furthermore, the 2 parts of Alaska she's governed at are damn near as far away from Russia as you can be in Alaska. Wasilla is right by the southern coast in cenral Alaska, and Juneau is on the very southeastern part of Alaska. Alaska's such a massive state that Juneau is damn near closer to fucking Delaware than Russia.

I should drop out of pharmacy school- I never realized until now how qualified I was to be captain of a barge since I live right by the Mississippi fucking River.

Lookin' Out My Back Door

If Sarah Palin's time in Alaska was so unanimously adored among Alaskans, and she was such a saintly executive leader, then why is the McCain campaign staff forcing all questions about Palin's time in office there or about Troopergate being diverted to the McCain campaign instead of state officials who were actually there? And now that she is the VP candidate, why is she refusing to comply with an investigation (Troopergate) that she originally promised to comply with? The Anchorage Daily News has reported that even many Alaskans are incredibly frustrated that their governor has basically let the McCain campaign take over the governor's office. It doesn't sound like St. Sarah is such a reformer after all.

Furthermore, if she's as uber-experienced as the McCain camp would have you believe, then why do they insist the VP debate have shorter question-and-answer sessions and less opportunity for exchange between the candidates than the Presidential Debates? I guess they want to avoid as many questions as possible about Doctrines.

Maybe if all the questions were about what you can see from your house they wouldn't be as nervous about a back-and-forth between the candidates.

Re: Dr. Bullshit... comment

In regards to my post, Dr. Bullshit or How I learned to Stop Worrying and Hate Steve Schmidt, an anonymous commenter said the following:
"You didnt mention how Obama would not go see the troops in Iraq because he could not bring his press. If you ask me, that seems like he is a pretty big dusch, only looking out for himself. VOTE McCAIN!!!!!"

First of all, it's "douche." "Dusch" isn't a word, yet, so you have inspired me to coin it as a word and give it definition. From henceforth, "dusch" shall be pronounced "duh-sh" and shall be defined as "a fucking awesome person." So I'm glad you agree that Obama is a dusch. Here's a pictorial example differentiating the original word from it's fairly similar-looking antonym, the newly coined word-

Douche:


And now a great example of a dusch:

Coincidentally, this dusch is also a serious badass.

And now on to your former assertion that "Obama would not go see the troops in Iraq because he could not bring his press;" you are completely and totally fucking wrong on that. As a matter of fact, after the word "Obama," you don't say a damn thing in the sentence that is actually true. I'll Tarantino this one: start it with the end- showing what your sentence should have said to be factually correct, and then break it down for you. Here would be the correct sentence (corrections have been made in all caps, hence why this sentence is damn near all caps)- "Obama COULD not go visit the injured troops in GERMANY because THE PENTAGON WOULD NOT LET HIM, because HE ONLY HAD CAMPAIGN STAFF AND NO OTHER SENATORS OR SENATE STAFF. HE INTENDED TO TAKE THE TRIP TO SEE THE INJURED TROOPS WITHOUT THE MEDIA, JUST AS HE HAD DONE IN IRAQ."

Now for the foggy mountain breakdown:
First of all, the injured troops in question were in Germany not fucking Iraq.
Second of all, Obama could have done what Sarah Palin did when she said she had visited Iraq, and claim he did something that he didn't do at all.
The Pentagon told Obama not to go since his fellow Senators and his Senate Staff were not with him; he never intended to take press with him. Senator McCain had said if the Pentagon told him this there would be a "seismic event." Obama felt that oing with only his campaign staff would drag the injured troops into an increasingly negative campaign; he didn't want it to be believed thathe was using the injured troops for political gain. Instead, McCain used them.

Furthermore, the McCain campaign issued an attack ad (can be seen here- again, I refuse to post this piece of shit on my blog), stating that Obama had time to go to the gym but not visit troops. In the ad, when the announcer was talking about this, it showed Obama playing basketball, leading you to believe he played b-ball instead of visiting troops. Well guess what? The basketball game it showed him playing was WITH THE FUCKING TROOPS IN KUWAIT!

Here's a news report about the debacle to back me up & prove that unlike McCain, I'm not completely full of shit:


Oh, and one last thing. If your accusation of Obama not visiting the troops because of not being able to bring press were true(again, the troops in question were in fucking Germany, and the latter part was a McCain lie debunked months ago), then how do you explain the fact that Obama has received far more donations from troops than McCain? It's worth notin that this report (video below) was before McCain's spending limit kicked in, so using that as a reason to explain is a complete logical fallacy and completely untrue.
To back up the news report, I did a little personal research. Eeryone that donates to a political campaign must list their employer, and the FEC tracks all of this. I did a search on FEC's website for people who donated to campaigns listing military, Air Force, Army, Navy, or US Marine Corps as their employer. The results? Obama received susbtantially more than McCain did. Obama even received more donations from the Navy than McCain did, and McCain received no donations from anyone listing the Air Force as their employer. Hell, even fucking Ron Paul got more donations from service people than McCain did. I rest my case.



Boo yah.

Dr. Bullshit or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Hate Steve Schmidt

Today, McCain's chief strategist Steve Schmidt, who likes kind of like this:

said that the Obama campaign is using the failing economy for political gain. I disagree completely, and think that Steve Schmidt is quite the asshole. He's fucking Karl Rove's croney, and follows so gallantly in Sir Karl's footsteps, which gives him no fucking room to talk about anyone else using something for political gain.

So I thought I would make a (probably incomplete) list of things that McCain's camp has used for political gain:

1) The wounded troops- this ad is especially disgraceful and especiallly bullshit, even though it has some serious competition from McCain this campaign season
2) Moses
3) The collective fear of not wanting a pedophile preying on America's children
4) Winston fucking Churchill, Teddy Roosevelt, the fact that he was a POW, and space & time travel in the same ad
5) And big fucking suprise, people's fear of higher taxes (even though Obama will help out working families far more than McCain)
6) Taxes again
7) Hillary Clinton's primary campaign
8) If Obama's used the economy for political gain, then this sure as shit is, with a dash of taxes again. The same for this one.
9) And probably not the worst of all of his, but still incredibly shameless & low, playing on people's fear.
10) Ronald Reagan

That's right Steve Schmidt, fuck you. I just kicked your ass. And you deserved it because you're an asshole. What's that? Only 10 you say? Well, Steve, that's all I've got time for, and if I were to try to prove you wrong on every bullshit campaign statement made, it wouldn't be a fulltime job- I'd be working on it 168 hours per week. But mark my words Steve, try it again and I'll come back with 10 more. That's right, motherfucker!

The Bush is Back

This is fucking absurd. Palin wrote a letter to the Alaska legislature saying her sobpeonaed aides in the governor's office won't testify in the Troopergate scandale, ignoring their subpoenas. Why are they doing this? Because she disagrees with the grounds of the investigation, feeling it's unwarranted? No. It's fucking not. In the letter she wrote to the Alaska legislature, Sarah Palin didn't say anyfuckingthing about the accusations being unfounded.

She objects because then the people subpoenaed would be forced to choose there loyalty between her and the Alaska legislature. Sounds kind of familiar- placing loyalty above all else.

Anyways, here's what I think it really is- a bunch of horseshit. If I do remember correctly, and the McCain website banner verifies that I do, the McCain/Palin main campaign theme is "Country First." How the fuck are we suppose to believe she'll put country of 305 million people first if she can't even put her state of 680 thousand first? That's a bunch of bullshit.

Eye of the Tiger

A new CNN/Time Battleground poll conducted from Sep. 14-16, show some great news for Obama's standing. I'd go so far as to say it's fanfuckingtastic.
Here's what they found:
Florida: Obama 48, McCain 48
Indiana: McCain 51, Obama 45
North Carolina: McCain 48, Obama 47
Ohio: Obama 49, McCain 47
Wisconsin: Obama 50, McCain 47
Margin of error ranges from 3-3.5 points

Before the RNC, he had been further ahead in Wisconsin, so it is unfortunate his lead has slipped there. Here's why I think it's good news overall:

First of all, Florida is fucking full of old people. People like to vote for candidates they can relate to, which makes McCain have a big advantage with the fake hip demographic. People voted for Bush because he was someone they wanted to have a beer with. I think Florida old people would vote for John McCain because they feel he's someone they could see themselves waiting at McDonald's at 5 fucking 30 AM before the door opens, then talking about how Viagra has changed their lives over a cup of senior citizen-priced coffee. They may have hotcakes too... actually I'm not sure if their generation calls them hotcakes or flapjacks (pancakes to my generation). Also, and somewhat less exciting, during the primary, winning in Florida is what cemented McCain as the frontrunner in the GOP primary, giving Floridians a substantial stake in his success. Obama tying with McCain there in the polls is big news in my book.

Ohio & Wisconsin are both battleground states, so the statistical tie in both states is nothing exceptional.

Indiana & North Carolina, though, are huge fucking news. Indiana is a red state. North Carolina is a red state. Democrats aren't suppose to win in red states. The last time NC voted for a Dem for president was 1976 for Jimmy Carter (before that, the last time was 1964 for LBJ). North Carolina's definitely a sold red state, but Indiana is damn near as far from a battleground state that you can get. Indiana has voted Democratic 4 times since 19fucking00. And Obama is only 6 points behind there. You remember how exciting it was to see Rocky, the underdog, beat Apollo Creed? This would be a lot like that. Except Apollo Creed is 20 ft. tall can bench press the entire borough of Manhattan, and takes enough steroids to kill a herd of elephants (real ones).

Here's a video I found that fits that analogy excessively well, even though it's primary-geared:

Damn, I miss the primary season.

Re: Tucker Bounds is Back

In the last video I posted of Tucker Bounds (on 9/15/08), he stated with respect to the Bridge to Nowhere that early in Sarah Palin's career- early in her career? It was 2 fucking years ago! Well... I guess it was early in her career. I stand corrected.
Anyways, he said that Sarah Palin was the one that drove the nail in the coffin that killed the Bridge to Nowhere. She wasn't the nail in the fucking coffin- that's horse shit. She was more like the nail stuck in the bottom of someone's shoe who was putting flowers on the Bridge's grave long after the coffin had been sealed, people had paid their respects at the Bridge's wake, a funeral & funeral procession had been held- followed by a graveside prayer, the coffin was placed in a concrete vault 6 ft. underground, covered in dirt, and the grass had long grown over the gravesite.

Point being- Tucker Bounds is completely full of shit. And I hate him.

I damn near had a stroke today

I was on wikipedia today, looking for info on Schlafly beer because that shit is delicious. When you search for Schlafly, there's 3 results- the beermaker, Phyllis Schlafly- an american conservative activist, and lastly & most importantly (well if it was the weekend, he wouldn't be the most important), Andrew Schlafly- the inventor of Conservapedia. This peaked my interest, so I looked into it some.

Turns out Conservapedia is a wiki-based web encyclopedia that is, according to wikipedia, is "written from an Americentric, socially conservative, and Conservative Christian point of view." Here's my question: WHY THE FUCK DOES AN ENCYCLOPEDIA NEED A POINT OF VIEW??
I have a theory on how this came to be. Someone was reading the encyclopedia and said, "These facts don't agree with my motherfucking opinions so they must be wrong." Then they created their own encyclopedia so that they, and everyone like them who doesn't ever want to come across (I'm going to call them "opinion fascists") any collection of words that ever disagrees with their point of view. So the opinion fascists created a fucking bubble, and that bubble is Conservapedia.


Upon investigation, I found out that Conservapedia puts Fox News to shame. What could be so different about a conservative encyclopedia, you may ask, especially if it's The Trustworth Encyclopedia? Here's what's fucking different- look at the article on evolution. Do you know what the first picture is in this article? Darwin? Nope that's not it. A monkey? Nope, wrong again. It's Hitler. Adolf fucking Hitler. It's an "encyclopedic" article about evofuckinglution and they have a picture of Adolf Fucking Hitler. And it gives a quote of him using evolution to explain why he thinks races shouldn't intermingle. After the 8-line long Hitler quote it says, "Charles Darwin was also a racist."

Another one that really pissed me off is in the Obama article; it says, "If elected, Obama would be the first Affirmative Action President." You know what? They're right- the executive branch hadn't hit their fucking 'black quota,' so he's just going to get handed the job. That's the most fucking absurd thing I've heard in my life.


Some other interesting claims:
1) The article about overcoming homosexuality is longer than the article for Andrew Jackson (he was a President, by the way), Thomas Jefferson, Lyndon Johnson, and the fucking Watergate scandal, and I've met 2nd graders that could write a better article on Kennedy.
2) They suggest Bill Clinton may haveused cruise missiles to manipulate polls
3) Environmentalists want to "protect" the environment (that's really in quotes on the actual page) instead of as they put it, "letting humans take dominion over it."

The article on atheism is interesting- because of how many problems they relate to atheism. For example, apparently atheism is linked to mass murder. There's just too damn many other things they cite as being due to atheism to list here.

In the Conservepedia article on John Kerry, it is claimed that Swiftboat Veterans for Truth and several other groups, and I quote, "were started to counter the charges of 'war crimes' Kerry repeatedly made against Vietnam veterans..." To act like SBVT was started for any reason other than to call falsely call Kerry's military record into question is a fucking joke. They even claim "The Swift Boat veterans had an extra reason to be enraged: John Kerry had been one of theirs and was using his service for political ends." Yeah, and SBVT didn't fucking use their serice for political ends? Fuck that. I know of few fucking attacks in politics that have been so full of holes, and have been documented as being as full of holes. They shat on their service to their country in order to get George fucking Bush elected.

Wikipedia's article on Conservapedia, the 10th reference cited is entitled "Conservepedia: as accurate as a catatonic drunkard's line of urine." Haha, I could not have put it better myself.

I've got to stop now, my stomach lining is having trouble handling the ulcer developing from doing the research for this post.

Tucker Bounds is Back

Watch this video...



...and just try, just try to tell me that you don't want to punch this guy in the fucking face. Because I know it's a lie. Because he is the epitome of someone who is a "fucking douche bag."


My second favorite part of the video? When he said "... yeah, full flop. Very sophisticated." Fuck this guy, he's an asshole- what a smug son of a bitch.

My favorite part? When I pretended I was repeatedly kicking him in the ribs & it got him to shut the hell up, and I never had to hear from Tucker Bounds ever again.... and then the world was a happy place, if only for a little while...

Sonofabitch...

I just heard a McCain spokesman on Hardball try to say we're better off now than we were 8 years ago. How in the sam hell does she figure that? Gas prices have tripled, we went from having the largest budget surplus in our history the biggest budget deficit in history, the national deficit has gone up by approximately $5 trillion, we're entrenched in a war that the majority of the country is against, and we've lost an immense amount of international good will. So how the fuck are we better off than 8 yrs. ago? Is the fact that the entire Lord of the Rings Trilogy has come out in the past 8 yrs. suppose to make up for all that? Or maybe the McCain spokesman is a big fucking Harry Potter fan, and she can ignore all of the fiscal, domestic, and international relations disasters of the Bush Era as long as she has her Harry Potter movies.

Head-in-Ass-Syndrome

I know I've already posted this once, but it's so incredibly stupid, I feel obligated to post it again. Really, if I was as stupid as this guy, I'd wrap my finger in copper wire and stick it in an electrical outlet while sitting in a bathtub full of water. How do you get your head that far up your own ass?

Wow.

Running a dirtier campaign than Karl Rove. That's like over-acting more than Adam West or William Shatner, or dressing more flamboyantly than Liberace, or being more annoying than Celine Dion, or being a less talented actor than Keanu Reeves-- it seemed fucking impossible. Until now.

Emesis

I'm pretty sure if I hear McCain say one more time that Senator Obama's judgment is poor because he was against the surge, I'm going to fucking vomit. He misses the damn point. If we hadn't got in this absurd war, it wouldn't fucking matter if the surge worked or not, dipshit.

Arithmetics

The McCain campaign incessantly touts Sarah Palin as the country's most popular governor. The number I've most frequently heard for her approval ratings is 80%, so that's the percent I shall use. Also, I'm unsure if the polls are among registered voters or general population. For simplicity's sake, I'm going to use general population numbers.

According to the census bureau's 2007 estimate, Alaska has 683,478 people. 80% approval rating would mean that 546,782 approve of her. Let's translate that to other states. In California, Gov. Schwarzenegger would have a 1.5% approval rating with those numbers. In Florida, Gov. Crist would have a 3% approval rating. Illinois' extremely assholish governor would have 4.3% approval with those numbers. Even in Hawaii, that's only a 42.6% approval rating. In Ohio, it would be 4.8% approval. In New York, it would be 2.8%

While the state of Alaska does seem to approve o her very highly as a governor, I feel it's somewhat misleading to tout her as the nation's most popular governor in the country. Shortly before the recall election in California, Governor Gray Davis had a 24% approval rating. Even if Palin had 100% approval in Alaska, the amount of people approving of his job was 12 times higher than what hers could ever be, and he got fucking kicked out of office.

Babysitting

In an article by politico.com, they reveal that during McCain's interview on the view (haven't had the patience/enough antacids to watch the whole thing), John McCain said with respect to the proposed townhall debates, "If we had done what I asked Senator Obama to do... I don't think you'd see the tenor of this campaign."

Here's what I got from this- McCain wanted to do townhall debates, Obama didn't agree, so now McCain is throwing a temper tantrum like a fucking 4 year old. This isn't fucking daycare, it's a campaign to be the leader of the free fucking world. If this is how McCain responds to not getting his way, what the hell is he going to do as President? Is he going to say, "If Putin wouldn't of attacked Georgia, I wouldn't have called him a doody-head"? Seriously, this is rifuckingdiculous.

In the same article, a McCain spokesman, Brian Rogers, tried to argue that the McCain camp tried to run a high-ground campaign and sought to keep the candidate in front of the media in the fashion he enjoys. I'll look into this more later, but from personal memory, I don't remember McCain's campaign ever trying the high-ground anytime after Obama received his party's nomination. They certainly use to be substantially more civil than they are now, but saying they tried the high-road is patently bullshit. His point he was trying to make was that they tried to be civil, but no one gave them any attention, so they decide to throw a pouting fit. This is fucking absurd, again, it's like being back in fucking daycare. I know it's unfortunate that no one changed their diapers soon enough, and I know that it's hard not to cry when teacher's saying it's naptime but you want to play on the playground some more, but fuck, grow up a little bit. Son of a bitch, they need to put they're fucking "big boy" (and girl) shorts on. They could at least switch to fucking Huggies pull ups and be a "big kid now." This is fucking pathetic. Will UN negotiations not go the way we want them to, and we'll shit our pants to show them who's boss? This is ridamndiculous.

Rogers also said, “We recognize it’s not going to be 2000 again... but he lost then. We’re running a campaign to win. And we’re not too concerned about what the media filter tries to say about it.” What the fuck does he mean by this? He fucking means that in 2000 they lost, and they weren't full of shit. So if you lose not being full of shit, you must fucking win if you are completely, and totally full of shit. I mean, McCain's campaign would put ambulance chasers to shame in how fucking full of shit they are. You could take all the fucking sewer plants in the country, put them in a big shit-filled clusterfuck, and that would be less full of shit than the McCain campaign. So what does he mean by the second half? He is insinuating that they want to win no matter what. And, by saying they're "not too concerned about what the media filter tries to say about it," what they really mean is that they don't give a shit if they get called out on their bullshit. They're just going to come up with more bullshit, and more bullshit, until the people in the media are so overworked trying to put out the truth, they fucking collapse from exhaustion. Personally, I think it's great to see the media doing their fucking job, and not just talking about whether Obama and Hillary have really made up or all the other bullshit that gets talked about that would be better placed in a fucking soap opera.

New Debate Format

This video gave me an idea for a new debate format. It won't be Republican vs Democrat. It will be McCain vs Palin and they will see who can out-bullshit the other one. That would be a spectacle for the ages; by the end of it, I guarandamtee we would find out that Iraq actually invaded us.

This is fucking absurd. This isn't a damn dog race, it's the fate of our fucking country, and according to the polls half of the country wants to fucking support these candidates who can't answer a direct question, and when presented with their own quotes from the past they either deny saying them (McCain), asshole-ishly say something to the effect of "Maybe you know more about my record than me" (McCain again), or just fucking lie about what it was they said (Palin, when she obviously meant something different than she said she did in the interview).

My blood pressure just shot up 20 points today

During her interview with Charlie Gibson, Sarah Palin didn't know what the fuck the Bush Doctrine is. She's a candidate for Vice Fucking President; she would be the heir apparent to be leader of the free world. And she doesn't fucking even know what the Bush Doctrine IS? She not only didn't know the details, she didn't even know that it fucking exists!
Here's the video:


I know what you're thinking after seeing something that dumb from a strong contender to be the person who would be the heir to the leadership of the free fucking world. I know what you're thinking, and I ask you, please put down the fucking razor; you've got a lot to live for, even if millions of people in our country are smitten with this dipshit.
Anyways, as I was saying, what the fuck? I mean, I know she went to 5 fucking colleges in 6 damn years, but how fucking stupid can you be? If I met someone on the street who didn't know what the Bush Doctrine was, it wouldn't be stupid and I wouldn't think any less of them. But
they're not running for national fucking office!

What would happen to our country if she ended up at the fucking helm? I've got video to show you:


That's right, it would be a fucking 90 miles per hour trainwreck. But the interview goes on, and in fine Tucker Bounds (asshole) fashion, she says a shitton of stuff, but nothing anywhere near answering the question. Kind of remniscient of something I've seen in a movie before...

She was asked what is at its most essential form a fucking yes or no question, and she showed she can tapdance around the simplest questions with the best of them. It's rifuckingdiculous. On top of that, I don't know if I've ever fucking heard someone sound so condescending when they didn't have any fucking idea what the hell they're talking about. "Well, Charlie... you see, Charlie... we must, Charlie." How the hell can you be that condescending on something you're copmletely fucking clueless about? She annoys the hell out of me.

I have never liked Matt Damon as much as I do now

Matt Damon told the AP why he doesn't like Sarah Palin at all. Here's the video:


My personal favorite:
"I want to know if she really thinks dinosaurs were here 4,000 years ago. That's important- I want to know that. I really do. Because she's going to have the nuclear codes."

4 More Years

Today, the Associated Press reported that Sarah "new-clear" Palin's administration is threatening the Alaskan Legislature with legal action to block subpoenas of her staff in the legislature's investigation of Troopergate.

Now who does that remind me of? Giving the legislature a big "fuck you" when a subpoena is issued?


Somewhat, but definitely more shrewd than that Curious George.


Warmer, but I think there's a good chance she's more full of shit than Rove.



Bingo.

Damnation & Icicles

This was the sight seen by anyone watching Fox News today:


Here's what caused the freezing over of the abyss:

"For anyone to say that Barack Obama consciously compared Mrs. Palin to a pig is unfair."
-BILL O'REILLY,
Fox anchor, blasting the McCain campaign and the media for insinuating that the Democrat's use of the phrase "lipstick on a pig" referred to the Republican vice-presidential nominee


I really don't know how to respond. The world has now become a confusing & frightening place. Bill O'Reilly... defending Obama ... while blasting McCain... and even most suprisingly, not being an asshole. What the fuck? I guess the Grinch's heart grew 3 sizes today.

Patriotism

I am a bit near-sighted, but I don't see a fucking flag pin.


Still no flag pin.


Is that a flag pin??!! No wait it's a fucking lapel microphone.


Betsy Ross must be rolling over in her damn grave.


Your lapel is suprisingly bare, Old Man River.


Is that a flag pin? No it's just some bullshit patch. Do you think McCain had that awkward-ass half smile surgically implanted on his face? You know what would make this picture way better? If you cut out McCain and just had that guy from The Office because that show is fucking awesome.


Again, McCain is not wearing a flag pin. I couldn't find a single picture where McCain was wearing a flag pin. There's far more pictures, I just can't stand to look at him any longer.

So what was the point of this post? Was it to prove that McCain's unpatriotic because he doesn't wear a flag pin? No- I think it's a bunch of horseshit that people actually think a lapel reflects a candidate's patriotism more than anything else they do. It's to prove that Republican/conservative pundits that were attacking Obama for not wearing his flag pin are hypocritical assholes.

Proving McCain is an Asshole, Episode I: The Bullshit Strikes Back

A little over a month ago, McCain released an ad attacking Obama for his popularity around the world. He tagged Obama as a celebrity, completely fucking ignoring the fact that Obama's popularity is due to how inspirational people find his message. Anyways, if you need a reminder of this bullshit commercial, here's the link (I refuse to post that piece of shit on this blog).

Yesterday, on Face the Nation, McCain was asked about Sarah Palin's qualifications. McCain insisted that her "record of reform" and her POPUFUCKINGLARITY qualify her to be VP. He's really making my job way too easy at this point. It's just a damn shame that about 50% of the registered voters don't realize it.

More on what he said can be found here.


I don't think it's necessary to comment on why this is a bunch of monkeyshit. I temporarily rest my case.
Be on the lookout for Episode II: The Asshole Strikes back.

Runnin' With the Devil

Sarah Palin's youngest son is named Trig Paxson Van Palin. Now, I love Van Halen as much as the next person, but I would never name a kid so that his name rhymes with the band name. That's just ridiculous.

Her other kids are named Track, Bristol, Willow, and Piper. Even if I were Republican, I would never vote for someone that gives their kids names that stupid. It'd be like voting for Angelina Jolie for VP.

If I had genital herpes, it would annoy me less than Tucker Bounds

Political Tetris

This is a little late, but I've been busy. Prior to the Democratic Convention, the GOP and their marionette pundit puppets made a huge deal out of the fact that during his convention speech, Obama would have Greek columns behind him. Apparently somehow, Greek columns signify that one is messianic, self-obsessed, and well, an asshole. So I thought we would analyze other people who have shown their asholishness by being surrounded by Greek columns. I believe they even referred to it as a "Barackopolis."



Lincoln, he was a real asshole. Neverfuckingmind the fact that he steered our country through what was likely the most divisive time in its history. Nevermind the fact that he's oft considered one of the, if not the, greatest president of all time. He's a damn asshole. How do I know? The GOP told me so- because he's surrounded by Greek columns. Damn that Lincolnopolis.



The current resident of this Executive Branch-opolis is certainly an asshole.




Although, I think he's certainly an asshole, it is terribly hypocritical for the GOP to slam Obama for using Greek columns when their chosen one clearly gave his '04 acceptance speech amidst a Dubya-opolis.




And last but not least the biggest asshole of them all, being portrayed in this Old as Shit-opolis.

Football

In response to an email from Josh:

Josh, I think you'd be more accurate to say the majority of Republicans are "un-informed" rather than "un-educated." Alot of them have fucking fancy-ass private school educations. Just their heads are too far up their own (and Fox News') asses to know shit about what's going on in the world. Here's food for thought about the fair & balanced news coverage- Fox News watchers are a more reliably Republican voting bloc than fucking conservatives. Only 7-9% of ppl. that watch Fox News regularly vote anything besides republican. Fucked up shit. Now on to my bitching.

That's all the race is to a lot of them- a fucking football game. In olden times, in England, rich ass motherfuckers would ride their fucking horses and play fucking polo. Modern day rich-ass white folk have bigger ambitions than that. They want to pummel our world into agreeance with their dim, dismal view of things. But they're not too concerned w/ it, as rich-ass-motherfucking white folks aren't too concerned with a whole lot of things besides staying rich. Thus, it seems like a football game to them. Here's the fucked up thing. In England back in the day, you never saw motherfuckers on polo horses trying to convince the masses that those who don't agree with them are actually the rich-ass motherfuckers because they're "on the ground playing croquet" or some other bullshit. THat didn't happen. Now, in our modern day American football game that is GOP politics, the rich ass white fuckers in charge do exactly that. They're all being rich as shit, wearing $520 shoes and owning more homes than they can fucking remember (Alzheimer's is a real bitch, Mr. McCain), and then they convince the masses that it's actual their opponent that's a rich-ass elite motherfucker because he fucking windsurfs. I've got fucking news for them, there are a shitton of working class people that live near the coast that fucking windsurf as a hobby. It's not like you have to have an ivy league education to windsurf.

And now apparently, community organizing is something to be laughed at as an elitist ploy to seemlike the common man. FUCK THEM. Obama could have graduated from law school, and taking a very, very high paying lawyer (he had the opportunity to make a shitton of money out of school), but he fuckin didn't do it. He wanted to improve a community of underprivileged people. Wanted to help out commonfolk who were struggling to get by. AND NOW the motherfuckers are making fun of him for it. That's fucked up... Oh yeah, he helped out underprivileged people, what an asshole. That's really way more assholish than lobbying for $27 FUCKING MILLION in fucking PORK BARREL SPENDING money for your town of fucking 7,000 fucking people. That's $3,857.14 for every fucking citizen of that town in pork spending, and now that crazy ass is the running mate of Mr. Anti-pork himself. Mr. cut fucking wasteful spending picked someone who originally supported the bridge to nowhere before she was against.

Wait a minute. She supported it... then was against it. I stand corrected, her and McCain are a match made in fucking senior home heaven.

Fuck them. And fuck the bullshit games they're trying to play on the American people.

Tucker Bounds is like an inflamed hemorrhoid, only a much bigger pain in the ass

McCain refused to do a scheduled interview w/ Larry King b/c his spokesman was an unprepared douchebag and couldn't answer a very appropriate line of questioning. He couldn't say what she's done as commander of Alaska National Guard- where if he would of known what he's talking about, he would of known he sent them out to fight fires. Damn idiots.

So Fred Thompson is talking at the RNC. Tried to say Palin is more experienced than Obama. He also said "The other side would make you think we're in a depression and that we've lost the respect of the world." I wished I lived in a bubble that thick. The fucking crowd of the walking dead & people in cowboy hats ate that shit up. He also said we're (among other things) the most prosperous nation in the world. I'm not sure how accurate that satement was. I mean, Belgium and Japan both have higher standards of living.

He also just said Obama's the most inexperienced person to ever run for president. Jesus tapdancing Christ, how do these people convince themselves of this shit?? Can't wait till Lieberman's speech- that'll be a fucking clusterfuck of intuitive intelligence. Now Fred's talking about how the Dems are just going to tax the shit out of you. This line of attack is probably the only thing in politics older than John McCain himself.

At the RNC they just had a video about Ronald Reagan. The video compared Reagan to Lincoln. Then it talked about how John McCain was a foot soldier in the Reagan Revolution and was soon to be in Congress. But it was all about Ron & Nancy Reagan.

Seriously. This is ridiculous. Here's the funny thing- Reagan and Lincoln's first campaign for president are two of the ones most easily compared to obama's (reagan = celebrity, but an actual one, and inexperienced, going up against the more experienced candidate who had a substantial amount of Navy experience).

Now Fred Thompson's talking. Man, I really missed the bags under his eyes the size of Rhode Island.

Does Obama have naval experience because Hawaii borders the MOTHERFUCKING OCEAN??? That's right, fuck mccain, obama lived near the ocean so now he has more maritime experience because that water shit was engrained in him from a young age. He has foreign policy experience because IL is only like 2 states away from FUCKING CANADA. Why is the media not calling out the bullshit on this fuckig shit?

Also, on youtube i saw sarah palin referred to as a VPILF, i thought that was amusing.

Jesus fucking Christ, what the fuck is it w/ these fucking Republicans saying that being near a fucking country gives you fucking foreign policy experience? I mean seriously, can they not come up with a better fucking punchline than that? If I were that dumb I would fucking kill myself. I would wrap my finger in electrical wire, shove a lightbulb up my ass and stick my finger in a fucking socket. Sonofabitch, what the fuck? How can you even hold a debate about issues with people that are that fucking stupid? I mean, you could hijack the fucking shortbus, dress all the retards up in suits, give them a fucking combover & people wouldn't be able to tell that they're not really the republican assholes that are trying to push all this bullshit. If anything they'd say, "Holy shit! The GOP has become a lot smarter since they've started wearing those fucking bicycle helmets!"

On FoxNews, Karl Rove tried to say that when Bush took office he had more foreign policy experience than Obama does now because "Texas border MOTHERFUCKING MEXICO!" No wonder our country's so fucked up, when this asshole was responsible for getting Bush elected twice.
In his defense though, this is slightly less moronic than the Palin argument (but BARELY) because texas at least does fucking touch mexico.

I'm going to go out in the garage, leave the door down, and turn my car on now. This is rifuckingdiculous.

The voice-over on this is kind of ridiculous but you can definitely see McCain checking out Sarah Palin during her speech (he did more vetting w/ his eyes during his speech than his campaign did in all the months leading up to the nomination):



Also, here's Cindy McCain showing she knows the intricacies of foreign policy and geography, and can tie those two completely separate things into one bullshit answer. What a great first lady she'd make.

The McCain campaign decided to release the info about Sarah Palin's 17-year-old daughter being pregnant out of wedlock as soon as Hurricane Gustav hit the ground. That seems pretty fucking shady to me- using a fucking hurricane to minimize the political damage of the news. Also, Palin's a huge supporter of abstinence only education. hahaha. How the fuck are we suppose to believe it works in the whole country if it doesn't work in her own household?

Also, a year or two ago, when asked about having the words "One nation under God..." in the Pledge of Allegiance, she said she believes in reciting the pledge in its original form like the founding fathers did. Hafuckinghahahahaha. That would be fine and fucking dandy except that the pledge wasn't written until 18fucking92, and the words "One nation under god" weren't added until 19fucking51 by the Kinghts of Cofuckinglumbus. So she believes in reciting it like he founding fathers. Which I guess is not saying it at all, then waiting around for 100+ yrs. for the motherfucker to be written, then waiting another 60 years for "One nation under god" to be added to it. What a dipshit.

Karl Rove said that Biden is a "big, blowhard doofus." Then, after making sure there was press in the room, said the housing prices are dropping because "they were artifically high during the housing boom." He also said "the economy is growing with a pattern of job creation." He also hit the McCain campaign's #1 talking point- that he was a POW.

I don't even have to comment on what assholish, patently false statements he made.