I made this up in response to Kamilah & I talking about the Dems fucking themselves over in the general again. I thought you might enjoy it too. I made it up as I went, but it may turn out to be eerily prophetic....


Here's my story about the Democrats shooting themselves in the foot:

Here's what will happen. At the Republican convention, McCain will not announce his VP candidate, but it'll be a mystery. The campaign signs will read McCain/? '08. Some people will think it's ? from the band ? and the Mysterians, and since 96 Tears was such a kickass 60's song, they'll vote for that ticket.
3 days to 2 weeks before the election, McCain's mysterious veep candidate will reveal themself. They'll walk out on stage in a red & black pantsuit, with the Rolling Stones' Sympathy For the Devil playing in the background, specifically the part where they say "I was 'round when Jesus Christ had his moment of doubt and pain. Made damn sure that Pilate washed his hands and sealed his fate." During this time the mysterious candidate's face will be in the shadows to keep it a mystery still yet. By the time the song reaches, "Pleased to meet you, hope you guessed my name," a hellacious cackle like this world has never heard will erupt over the loudspeaker.
A spotlight will then shine on the candidates face, and you will see Hillary Clinton with red beaming eyes (kind of like Sigourney Weaver towards the end of Ghostbusters). During her first speech she will talk about their opponent Barack Obama. In this speech she'll do what she's been dying to do all campaign and has only hinted at: she will say the word "black" referring to barack obama in 5 or 10 minutes way more often than Mitt Romney would say "Ronald Reagan" in interviews. She'll then talk about the rich history of black people in America, highlighting people that scare the shit out of (or at least seem kind of crazy to) a lot of white people- Al Sharpton, Malcom X, the Black Panther Party, race riots. Harriet Tubman, Frederick Douglass, Rosa Parks, and Martin Luther King won't be mentioned at all, unless she mentions it right next to more militant African Americans, to make the contrast more stark (this really isn't that terribly far fetched, since her & Bill have pretty much already said that primary votes in states with a large black population don't "really count" and that "Jesse Jackson won South Carolina in '84 and '88").
Having thoroughly convinced the ignorant, undecided white voters that Barack is a terrorist, her and McCain will easily slide into the White House. Since Hillary wants to be Prez at any cost, she will then plot to kill McCain. She'll find a way with some poetic justice- poison his Thanksgiving turkey, kidnap him & drop him in the middle of a warzone to be a POW again, or possibly just kill all the first-born male children in America until McCain cedes the presidency to her.
She'll then start wearing a brown hooded cloak/robe whose hood drapes over her face, and laugh like Emperor Palpatine. This will be the beginning of her fascist, dictatorial regime. Her first act as emperor will be to ban all blue dresses.


But then again, she could just be bullheaded and not know when to give up, or not care that she's hurting her party way more than nominating John Kerry ever did.